How to diss an Asian

Some bitter old man called me a "turtle" the other day. Annnnd self-esteem continues to get pummelled by my own race. (I guess my abnormally-large-for-an-asian-female's ass was blocking part of the alleyway in a market of tacky breakable crap.)

Turtle = you're slow. It's considered offensive. Kind of like how we call people "b*tches". And in Asia, it's especially bad to use animal names to refer to humans.

Obviously if someone were to call me a turtle in America, I'd break out my nunchuks & start singing the theme song for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. cowabunga. duuude.

Wu gui ("woo gway") = turtle.
Ni shi wu gui, ma? ("nee shur woo gway, mah?") = Are you a turtle?